YKYCW.. #5 Chopsticks

You know you're chinese when.. you can turn take-away chopsticks into food

Step-by-step instructions on how to convert normal wooden take-away chopsticks into preserved vegetables!

1. Collect your clean chopsticks

2. Cut into even lengths.

3. Soak the chopsticks in alcohol for a few days.

4. Add some salt and citric acid.

5. Add sugar and soya sauce.

6. Boil.

7. Pour into a jar and store in the fridge.

8. The preserved chopsticks are done when all the sauce has been absorbed.

9. It looks exactly like preserved vegetables!

10. Stir fry with sliced meat.

Noone will know the difference!

YKYCW.. #4 MahJong

You know you're Chinese when.. you love mah jong



Memories of being about 8 or 10 years old.. with my cousins playing on our own (making mansions and driving little MicroMachines or dominoes) or against our grandma who would give us loose change so we could gamble with her (back in the day when 1c and 2c coins existed). She was proud when others were amazed that we knew how to play at such a young age. My grandpa would walk past and we would laugh as he toot'ed along with flatulence that lasted from the arch to the door to the other room. Often he would stop to help Jeremy (the youngest of our lot at the time, before Danielle) come up trumps from his underdog status. Screaming "POOOONG!" and "SIIIRRRRNG!" trying to imitate how the adults would yell.


Its like playing cards, but with small square brick tiles.

YKYCW.. #3 Cups

You know you're chinese when.. you own a cup that has a lid on it

YKYCW.. #2 Red Beans

You know you're chinese when.. you've eaten red beans in (at least) 3 different ways.

Its reads a bit like a whos-whos in red bean recipes. Kinda like Bubba's shrimp menu.

Red bean desert soup, 3 layered red bean ice drink, sweet red bean paste pancakes, fried sesame seed balls with red bean paste (jin dui), red bean filled moon cakes, azuki frappaccino (seen in Starbucks Japan circa April 2008), coconut red bean pudding, lotus seed and red bean congee, green tea and red bean cake, sago pudding with red beans, steamed buns with red beans, red bean ice cream, red bean soy smoothie, red bean McFlurry (Chinese New year edition), red bean rice cake, red bean soup with rice dumplings, red bean paste jelly, red bean and pumpkin curry, red bean soup dumplings, red bean steamed tea cakes..

Anpanman! (even though he's japanese) His head is a bean filled bun!

YKYCW... #1 Slippers

You Know You're Chinese When.. you leave your shoes at the front door.



This is customary with many chinese (and other asian) households. It doesnt actually happen at my parent's house as the whole bottom level of the house is tiled and they tend not to expect guests to walk around on cold floors. But if you've ever come to visit or stay with us, my mum would've certainly offered you a pair of slippers from her stash in the cupboard.




I think some of you may have even accepted, but you'd probably find that these Hong Kong bargain bought styles do not fit our general fish-bowl-effected size feet. When I was younger, my mum told me that if I walked around bare-footed, I'd grow up with really big feet (doh!) and she'd lure me with pink ug boots or ones that looked like animal's feet. The funniest was when my dad used to (recently) wear red ones with flowers and teddy bears on them.

Why do asians like wearing slippers?
I think its obviously because they dont want you trudging outdoor crap all over their expensive stone flooring or oriental rugs and white carpets. Perhaps its an indoor footwear vogue that just makes sense and westerners just dont get? Remember when girls were wearing those silky/velevety embroidered slippers as outdoor wear before the Havaiana explosion?

If anyone has any other theories, I'd like to know.

The Goldfish Bowl Effect

Whenever I've been back to visit the Mother Country, my size is usually a topic of conversation. Admittedly I'm tall for an asian (at approx. 5'9) and when I ride the subway in HK, I can see over people's heads.

The theory my relatives have is that of the "Goldfish Bowl Effect'. That is, when a fish lives in a tank, it will only ever grow to a certain size to be able to swim around and not out-grow its environment. When it is put in a pond, the spacious conditions allow it to grow larger, but still relatively confined to its genes. There are also contributing conditions such as the quality of food, water and air.

In comparison to a cousin (so we share half the same genes) who is exactly 1 year older , who grew up in a 2 bedroom apartment which was maybe slightly larger than my parent's kitchen, to me, with a large house and a less city population density, I stand at least a head taller and substantially more "athletic" (as my relatives likes to put it nicely).

Perhaps its all the chicken I eat.

The Introduction

Michelle is not ashamed of her Chinese heritage and enjoys observing (often jesting or mocking) the stereotypes and cultural differences and compares them with her environment, what she's been taught and how she would be perceived by others. Having been born and raised in Australia and considering herself relatively well-travelled, she has become aware that these qualities are relatively consistent around the world. She currently lives in Dubai, where the population of Chinese is scant and surpassed by a plethora of South-East Asians such as Filipinos and Thais. She writes this blog with jovial light-heartedness to keep the realness with her roots and hopes to not offend anyone.

Richard is a proud sixth generation Australian of First Fleet convict stock, which is to say he is as Australian as a white guy can be and not in any way, shape, or form Asian. He has, however, for several years lived in Japan, and travelled widely throughout the Asias. During these years he has borne witness to a multitude of peculiar, lovable, and at times baffling displays of "Asianess". He contributes to this blog from the perspective of an outsider, on the inside, looking out, and hopes you enjoy his musings.

The Jump-Off

ba·nan·a /bəˈnænə/[buh-nan-uh]
–noun
1. a tropical plant of the genus Musa, certain species of which are cultivated for their nutritious fruit.
2. Someone of Asian decent who is said to be yellow on the outside and white on the inside.

egg /ɛg/
–noun
1. the roundish reproductive body produced by the female of certain animals, as birds and most reptiles, consisting of an ovum and its envelope of albumen, jelly, membranes, egg case, or shell, according to species.
2. A westerner who is said to be white on the outside and yellow on the inside.